Crazy Modern African Prophets

1. Alice Auma- Uganda

Claims that she was a prostitute would have naturally disqualified Alice Auma from being a leader of men. But, she claimed that God spoke through her, and they followed her into a war waged supposedly to purify Uganda and restore Acholi glory.

On May 25, 1985, she reportedly lost hearing and speaking ability. Several failed traditional interventions later, she disappeared into Paraa National Park and emerged 40 days later as the spirit-medium of a dead Italian soldier whose name, Lakwena, means “messenger” in the Acholi language. On August 6, 1986, Lakwena allegedly ordered Auma to form a Holy Spirit Movement (HSM) that would fight evil and end bloodshed. But the HSM’s songs and magic were no match for the National Resistance Army’s bullets and organizational superiority.

Alice escaped with her life to Kenya. In 2006 she claimed to have found a cure for the HIV/AIDS she is alleged to have died from. Alice’s Holy Spirit Safety Precautions included, among others, “all men having neither less nor more than two testicles”. She allegedly fled to Kenya on a bicycle. Ironically, Kony’s eleventh commandment became “thou shalt not ride a bicycle.” Lakwena the Italian spirit allegedly drowned in the river Nile in the First World War, and reputedly spoke 74 languages. Other spirits that inhabited Alice included America’s Wrong Element, Zaire’s Franko, and Nyaker, an Acholi nurse. She promised her fighters that use of her "Holy Oil" would protect them from bullets, turning them to water. Her 7,000 hymn-singing fighters reached to within 130km of the capital, Kampala, before they were defeated by the government army in 1988.

After the HSM’s defeat in November 1987, Kony, her alleged cousin regrouped the force under a new name, the United Holy Salvation Army, which he re branded to the Uganda Christian Army, before settling for the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) in 1992.

2. Prophet Mboro - South Africa

His nick-name Mboro means penis in many Bantu languages. He is of the Incredible Happenings ministry.He has tens of thousands of followers, most of them young people. He must have an equally high number of enemies, if his security is anything to go by. His convoy of Benz-es and a Chrysler is always well guarded by burly men wielding machine-guns. His church sells a lot of blessed stuff; blessed water, blessed petroleum jelly, blessed sanitary towels etc. The followers claim that when having menstrual pain, the anointed sanitary pads ease the pain.

A few years ago, the prophet held an exorcism- one of many controversial ones. Sitting on the lap of a female congregant, Mboro placed his hand on the head of the 17-year old.He told the congregation that her stomach had swelled up because some sorcerers had cast an evil spell on her. As he was praying for her, she collapsed. Mboro then told the teenager, who was lying on her back, to open her legs, which she did. He then plunged his fingers into her private parts,ans started moving his fingers inside her vagina. As he was busy with the "healing process", he ordered her to call him by his bnickname; Mboro.

The prophet is obsessed with lady's private parts,l which he fondly calls "biscuits". On previous occasions, he has stepped on the "biscuits"; and on one occasion, claimed that there was something breathing in the biscuit. He ordered the lady with the breathing to remove her undies, which he went ahead to stitch with "holy-water" i.e.rubbing his wet fingers on the vagina.

3. Joseph Kibwetere and Credonia Mwerinde - Uganda

The pair had predicted that the world would end on 31st December 1999, and then Joseph changed that to the following year's New Year's Eve, and then to St. Patrick's Day. Joseph, a Ugandan cult leader duped scores of Ugandans into surrendering their possessions to him and joining his sect, Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God.

In March 2000, as many as 1000 people died, some in a fire and others allegedly poisoned. At first, it was assumed taht the massacre was a mass suicide by members of the cult who were convinced about going to heaven through fire, but later  it was established that it was planned and executed by the cult leadership. Some members had been killed earlier and secretly buried in other camps.

Joseph Kibwetere was professionally a primary school teacher. He had 16 children. He was recruited into the cult by Credonia, who was a former prostitute. Credonia started the movement in the late 80's, when she reported seeing a vision of the Virgin Mary. She failed to convince the Vatican, and her cult was born. Joseph was ordained the bishop of the movement.

The cult revolved around a belief that some people were talking with god through visions, and they received warnings from the Virgin Mary about the apocalypse. The followers would not go to hell if they strictly followed the cult's teachings.

They preached as far back as 1992, about snakes as big as tractor wheels and blocks of cement which would fall from heaven during the apocalypse. They talked of three days of consecutive darkness, that would engulf the whole world. It is said that they sealed the church doors and windows with nails, to prelude the apocalypse. The church was then set on fire.